Building ourselves back better
Why the Biden/Harris Administration has the potential to restore our sense of personal power
We have seen the geopolitical, global health, and financial implications of the Trump administration worldwide over the last four years. Many articles have been written about the consequences of the administration on climate, fundamental human rights, and the economic divide created through tax cuts for specific demographics. While these issues are significant, they are not the cause of our problems. They are just a symptom of whom we have become.
Unfortunately, my front-row seat has been to the aftermath of the Trumpian psycho-emotional turmoil. Over the last four years, as an Integration Mentor, I have spent hundreds of hours supporting my clients through this chaos. Most days, I have found myself saying things like: “No, you are not crazy. That statement is in-congruent with the facts (or what the President said an hour ago)” or “That is correct; the numbers do not match what the President is saying. It is completely OK to feel confusion and frustration around this issue, but unfortunately, we cannot control what others do and don’t do. We can only control how we conduct ourselves and how we choose to integrate ourselves, even in the face of such chaos”.
To those of us who specialize in pattern recognition, the Trumpian management model has been clear from the start. Chaos leads to changing the system leads to normalizing the new system.
The aim of this form of governance is to create chaos until an established system can be challenged. Once the challenge occurs and the citizens are distracted by the unusual presidential behavior, the leader can then reconstruct the new “norm”. They establish a new reality by validating their behavior through an explanation that seems reasonable. Once the reason for an individual is standardized as acceptable, conditioning occurs by consistent and constant repetition of the message. The problem for the President is that no matter how many times he repeats something it does not make it true. Whatever is normalized is not always true. This is what we must never forget.
Many of my clients have faced this challenge about seeing and hearing the lies portrayed as truths and not reacting to them. It is unnatural for the human psyche to accept things it knows are inaccurate. The constant repetition of alternative facts this administration has spouted can take its toll and confuse even the clearest mind. A repetition is a form of hypnosis, and unless we can break the spell, we cannot reclaim our lives and who we are.
We make 35000 decisions every day. We base our decisions on the information we collect. If we collect corrupt information, we make bad decisions. If we collect biased information, we make bad decisions. Our capacity to make the right decisions is based on clarity: our ability to see facts as they are and how those facts relate to a bigger picture.
Trumpism promotes chaos and disruption. It cherry-picks a bias and then runs with it. It embraces the obnoxiousness of “us against them” and subscribes to the divide-and-conquer approach back yard bullies. The division then polarizes issues that have been festering beneath the surface of a nation, and finally, brings it to a painful breaking point. This leadership model is unsustainable because it does not serve all people represented. Division creates friction, and eventually, there is either a revolution or an election that forces equilibrium into a chaotic political landscape.
And here we are the week after the election. The new administration has started creating order by utilizing transparent communication and putting in place structures that can help us heal from a literal pandemic. Just like that, people who have been feeling the chaos of the last four years are beginning to relax and feel more positive about themselves and their future. Just like that, there is hope for change. There is hope for something new. There is hope that after 47 years in elected office, Joe Biden, as President, will finally be able to make improvements in Washington.
The past created Trumpism. We cannot go back to the status quo. We must build ourselves and our nation back, and build it back better than it ever was. Because even if Biden has spent all these years in politics, now it is finally the day to make a change and take our nation back. Together, we will rebuild the soul of this nation. Will it be perfect? No, of course not. Much like none of us, individuals are not perfect, nor is the government. But what we can do is create more integration within our leadership. We can demand better decision-making, transparency, and hard work. Remember, the challenges of our times are a reflection of who we are as people. If we want to integrate our nation, we must integrate ourselves. Start with the basics of Integration Mentoring:
Your vision and direction
Who are you without all the noise, pressure, and confusion? What do you want to achieve in your life as the person you truly are? What do you want to create or see created in the world? Where does your genius lie? If you don’t have a goal, it is impossible to reach it. Your vision and direction does not have to be perfect. Something as simple as “I want to see more kindness in everyday life”, can be a powerful vision. Pick your vision according to what you need right now, and maybe right now you need a break from negativity and just focus on a daily distribution of positivity.
Your strategies
Once you know your vision and direction, you can start building new strategies around your vision. It’s good to remember that the old strategies you have used to get this far won’t work. You must learn new ones. For example, if you want to contribute positively to the world, look at strategies you have not used before. Sharing a simple compliment with a friend. Offering gratitude to your spouse for the aspects you fell in love with. What is a daily strategy you could put in place from today onward to start fulfilling your vision and direction?
You skills
If you want new strategies, you must learn new skills. We must DO something different from what we have done before. Thinking about changing is not enough. We must practice change to create change. Sharing verbal gratitude with a loved one can feel awkward at first. That’s OK. You’re learning. It’s also good to remember that the recipient of your acknowledgment may be learning to receive positive feedback. Interpersonal grace goes a long way here.
Your environment
Is your current environment supportive of the kind of change you want to see? Do you have the basics covered: are you able to rest, feed yourself, and be accepted as you are? It can be hard to offer positive energy from a space of exhaustion and lack. Make sure you look after your immediate environment first and then move on to your people’s environment. Are there people who belittle your vision and direction? If so, stop sharing it with them and find a supportive peer group.
Your personality psychology
How do you speak to yourself? Are you supportive of yourself, or do you criticize yourself to get things done? Try a different approach. If you are used to putting yourself down, become more supportive. If you know you could do more, decide to jump into action and do it. Become your very own guru. Inform yourself with facts. Practice listening to yourself so that you can begin to hear your inner voice of right and wrong. Be patient, and learn to compromise, but always drive to become the best version of yourself.
Integrating ourselves takes time, energy, and the willingness to fail forward. The more chaos there is, the harder it will be. So, let us calm the turmoil. Let’s embrace the moment. The consensus is in: the next four years won’t be spent dodging mean tweets and worrying about the mean man in office.
What a great opportunity we have to build ourselves and our lives back so much better.
