Boundaries -vs- Barricades

Merja Sumiloff
2 min readNov 12, 2020

Why boundaries can transform your life, while barricades may ruin it.

When it comes to those closest to us; our partner, children, co-workers and family, it is wise to note the difference between Boundaries and Barricades.

Boundaries

  • Are like a gate — we can let people and ideas in and out as we choose.
  • Give us freedom to be ourselves and claim our own personal space.
  • Are rooted in self love, self care and compassion. This connection to self allows our creative power to come forth, as our healthy boundaries creates a space for self expression.
  • Allow us to more consistently and easily reach our goals in life.

Barricades

  • Are like a shield that we carry around us constantly, because we are waiting for the next violation to occur. Watching over our shoulder constantly can lead to psycho-emotional exhaustion.
  • Are keeping others from seeing who we really are. People who protect themselves with barricades feel lonely.
  • Are rooted in self protection and seeing ourselves as a victim. We are so used to fighting for a cause, our business or people we love, that we lose our sense of ourselves. Most barricades are built to facilitate the recovery of the lost self, when all we had to…

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Merja Sumiloff

Integration Mentor, personality profiler, Founder of Sumiloff Academy of Human Integration